So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
