so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
