i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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