i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
only you would photoshop your dick
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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