If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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