it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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