Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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