peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
