Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
