The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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