So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
