Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
