No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
