White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
