doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
