it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sex in a hospital.. check
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
