there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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