hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
