i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
