You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
