Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
