I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
