Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
