Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
