so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
