My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
