I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is wine microwaveable?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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