Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
