**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
