Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ttyl tear gas
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
