I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
