Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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