She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
