Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
