It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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