Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
