There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
