So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
this boner is exhausting
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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