you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
