Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
