Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
