I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
