New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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