i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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