The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Vodka?
Forever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
