we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
