I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
