he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
