You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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