3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
