Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
