what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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